The Power of Perspective

Shane and Tonya explore how choosing gratitude and maintaining a positive perspective can make all the difference, even in the toughest of markets. They share personal stories, practical tips, and the importance of leading by example, reminding us that a mindset shift can turn challenges into opportunities for growth and connection. 

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Transcript

Announcer: [00:00:00] This is IA Forward, your playbook for success as an independent insurance agent. Here to help you knock it out of the ballpark are your hosts, Shane Tatum and Tanya Leed. 

Tonya: Welcome to IA Forward, and it is November, which is the month of gratitude. Beginning the most wonderful time of year, the Christmas season.

Thanksgiving season. I would think that at your household that Thanksgiving is not an entire season. It's like a three day thing that's amidst the Christmas 

Shane: season. At my house, we are thankful for Christmas. It's the poor turkey and all that just doesn't get his day at our house. Unfortunately, we have Thanksgiving, obviously that is huge.

We have turkey, we have. Dressing, we get together with family multiple times and we get very tired of turkey and dressing because we eat it so many times, but we do that surrounded by Christmas decorations 

Tonya: and the same way I start to get my Christmas dishes out [00:01:00] around the middle of November, which is around our anniversary, but I leave my fall China in my cabinets.

Until the day before Thanksgiving. And I use my Christmas china for the first time for my Thanksgiving meal. 

Shane: We're almost on the Hobby Lobby schedule. When did Hobby Lobby start putting out their Christmas? 

Tonya: At our Hobby Lobby, it was right after 

Shane: the 4th of July. Okay, yeah. If we go any Sooner than fall decorations are going to have to be abandoned.

My favorite thing to do is to read in my chair and watch my wife transform our house. So I'm for it. I'm not the one that's picking on give the turkey his day. That's not necessarily the way I see things because I love Christmas and I love Christmas decorations and everything that my wife does at our house that she makes it transform.

It's really cool for me. But if we go any sooner with Christmas decorations, then [00:02:00] we're not going to have a fall season. So that's the new challenge that Hobby Lobby has introduced us to. Maybe 

Tonya: it's because you're from Texas, I'm from Louisiana, I'm in Florida now, and we don't really have an autumnal season, so why are we celebrating with leaves that are all these beautiful shades when we never really have that in real life?

It either goes from hot to cold. 

Shane: And then back to hot again. It is what it is when you live in the South and it's 100 degrees for three 

Tonya: months. Or on Christmas Eve, which we've actually had happen. Being from Louisiana, our four seasons are football, Mardi Gras, crawfish, and summer. And so maybe I have that mindset.

And as football starts to move into bowl season, that's when it becomes Christmas. And then Christmas, of course, leading into Mardi Gras, which is my second favorite season of the year. And I have a lot of crossover decoration there because I'm the person that has the giant Mardi Gras tree and leaves it up.

Switching some things [00:03:00] out to take those into that second holiday season. So all of that said, there's a purpose to this, right? And the purpose of this is I want to talk a little bit about what I'm seeing on social media that's different this year compared to what I normally see. This time of year in this season, and I noticed in the last few days, I started thinking about it and looking at memories and I'm used to seeing a lot of gratitude in the month of November and people do these little daily gratitude things, what they're thankful for.

I'm used to seeing this in business postings that they're during this season of thankfulness, what their businesses are grateful for, what agencies are grateful for, what. People are feeling thankful for, and I'm just not seeing that this year. And that tells me that there has been a mindset shift from previous years, and I'm just not loving 

Shane: that.

That could partially [00:04:00] come from just allowing the scenario of, say, the hard market for insurance agencies right now, just that scenario of a constant negative thing from the customer base, phone calls being negative, et cetera, that we've allowed maybe some of that to creep in, affect our mindset without us even realizing it.

I know that our frontline account managers, uh, across the industry are tired. I've been saying this for a, for a little bit now, hug an account manager. They're not okay. There's probably some of that. However, we do control our attitude. I know that someone speaks about that a lot on this podcast, is choosing your attitude.

Because it's a choice, right? Because it's a choice. You get to make that choice when you wake up every day. And it's something I learned a long time ago. It's not somebody else's fault. You control your attitude. You control how you see things in the world. And I [00:05:00] was taught that at an early age and have taught my children that hopefully it's stuck.

So even when you think you don't have a choice because you're tired because you've been dealing with negativity for a year and you're just really tired of the negativity and the toxicity around you. From whether it's customers, whether it's a circle of friends, whether it's your people you work with, you still have a choice.

It's not everyone else's fault, and we have to start with how we think about things when we wake up in the morning. And I make. Some people aggravated around me at times, because if I'm going to say attitudes of choice, then I need to be that person all the time. You can't say something and then act differently.

So I have to get up every day, whether I feel like it or not, and make a choice to have a positive attitude because of how much I've preached having a positive attitude, it has become habit and ingrained in me. From an early age, but also from a leadership standpoint of I [00:06:00] can't mope into the office because I'm going to set the tone with everyone else because if I'm moping, why can't they mope?

Tonya: I had a very untania moment last night. I had to run to Walgreens to pick up a few things. And while I was there, I was walking down the card section because I love paper cards. That's just one of my things. And I saw all of the Thanksgiving cards. That were on display, and I had this mental thought of if I skip doing that this year, will anyone care?

Because I always send out cards for Thanksgiving, right? Because I, I just really think that it's really an important season to have that heart of gratitude. And then when I had that thought in my head as I'm walking away, I thought, okay, To quote John Crist, it's time to check your heart. And we all have those moments where we don't feel good or that we don't want to do those things that show our appreciation and, and share how grateful we are for the people around us.

We all have those moments, but last night [00:07:00] was just a big in your face moment for me that I was like, okay, you need to get it together because if. I can't be the difference, then I can't depend on anyone else to be the 

Shane: difference. Have you ever heard the joke from the comedian Jim Gaffigan about cards? No, I haven't.

Jim Gaffigan, one of my favorite comedians, has a set where he talks about what's the deal with Greetings cards or just going and buying a card. What do you do? Here's the card that I got you that somebody else wrote. It's a really funny, dry set that he goes through. And I really think it's funny because you're a big thank you card person.

You hand write. Cards and you send little notes and you do things like that, which is authentic and awesome and really good. But greetings cards, cards that you go buy at the store. Why don't you just say what you want to say and save your 4. Now I 

Tonya: always. Add my own [00:08:00] message there, but for me, I guess it's more picking up the visual, where if I had to go and take the picture, and then write the message, and then have it printed, like, I'm not gonna do all that, I'm not that good.

I do that for Christmas, maybe for Easter, maybe for Mardi Gras, creating the whole entire card, it is easier. 

Shane: I do write thank you notes and I do write them out, right? I'm a writer and it's a very simple thing and that matters because what you say matters and it coming from you, building on this theme that I've probably been on for forever is authenticity.

You add personal note to a card that you buy, that's better than love you, Tanya, or I don't Tanya, and instead of you just signed a card and it's what somebody else said. Adding that personal note gives that authenticity and maybe the positivity that somebody needs. That's the part. As you talk about gratitude and you think about this whole concept, this time of year [00:09:00] going into the holiday season, we may be somebody's difference if you choose.

The positive route of an attitude with 

Tonya: the challenges that we're facing in our agencies. How do we get past that challenge to be able to be the difference to be able to have that a little more positive, a little more grateful attitude and or can we fake it long enough to make it happen? 

Shane: I am not a fake it till you make it person.

Tonya: I know you're not. Sometimes we do have to fake it until we make it, right? Or sometimes we have to create an environment where that positivity can thrive even if we're not feeling it at the time. 

Shane: We're gonna get into a difference on this of we have to feel it. I'm not very good at faking it and my kids showed me that.

I'm faking it and they told me very clearly, Dad, what's wrong? And that became. This realization for me that I'm not going [00:10:00] to be able to fake it. I'm going to have to be authentic with it. What I'm going to have to do, though, from a leadership standpoint, I'm going to have to be different in terms of, I'm going to have to get my head straight.

I'm going to have to be authentic, but be the positive source. No matter what, I'm going to have to be the Buffalo. I'm going to have to run into the storm. That's this leadership kind of thing. Like if you think about some tragic scenario, there are people that run away from it, and then there are people that run into it.

I want to be the run into it person. I don't want to be the George Costanza running out of the kitchen, shouting fire, kicking the old lady to the ground and pushing the children out of the way. I want to be the one running to the fire. And that's my struggle with fake it till you make it. I want to be able to say, Hey, this is where I'm at.

But at the same time, I want to make sure that I'm stepping above that, even in bad times, even when things aren't going well, that I [00:11:00] find a positive lens for every scenario. I don't think that's faking it. We could be saying the same things in a way. We are saying the same things in a way. We're just using some different terminology or phrases for it.

I 

Tonya: can remember the summer that I was 15, my family took a road trip to Myrtle Beach. Now, if you're from the Gulf South and going to Myrtle Beach sounds really exciting, Myrtle Beach is lovely, but let me just tell you, the beaches and the water are nothing like we have in the Gulf South. Set your expectations a little differently.

That being said, as we were going into Myrtle Beach, I was reading a book in the back seat of the car, and heard my mama hollering, and looked up, And our car was on fire. Dad stopped. Mom gets out of the car and runs. I'm in the back seat. Dad's getting out of the car to see if he can figure out what's wrong.

But my mother left me in the back seat of the car. And so I'm 15, right? So I am able to reach forward, hit the little button [00:12:00] on the, the seat. So I'm able to crawl out of the two seater car. And Later on that night, I got to laughing. I'm like, mom, do you realize that you left me in the back seat? The car was on fire.

You left me in the back seat. And she said, I guess I just figured if he worked smart enough to get out of the car, that was your problem. And of course she said it laughing and with love and all of those kinds of things. But it was also one of those learning moments that I've never forgotten. Now.

Obviously, had I not gotten out of the backseat with the car on fire, my parents would have come back to help me. I don't in any way, shape, form, or fashion believe that mom and dad would have left me there. But your whole thing about the car was on fire, mom's thought was let's get out of the car. It wasn't.

Okay, I need to stay in the car, figure out what's wrong, and we'll go from there. That's been one of those things that it's okay, things are bad, figure it out, take care of it, and then 

Shane: we're going to move on. That even killed nature. That gratitude [00:13:00] gets harder. Positivity gets harder. The more high versus low we become.

If we are rollercoaster people. We're really happy when things are good, and we're really sad and depressed when things are bad. This is really hard to lead with those emotions. And if you're looking for something that I believe is really important from a leadership standpoint, it's improving your ability to see things through.

That even kill Linz and that makes it easier to not run from the fire. It makes it easier to think about what's happening, not to pick on Mama Queen here, but think about, Oh, I might want to check on my child in the back seat. Of course you are 15. It's not like you are so young that you have to be unhooked.

Right, I was 

Tonya: in a car seat. I was just, and I don't want to at all imply that Mama Queen was going to let me die in the back of the car on fire. But it wasn't her. It was a, okay, we gotta get [00:14:00] outta here and But that was her response. 

Shane: You were already like a six footer at 15, right? Yeah, I was six one at 15.

Yeah. So there was nothing she was gonna be able to truly do to uncoil you out of this vehicle in the back? That is correct. 

Tonya: Sometimes that's how we feel when we get. Into that hole of negativity, right? You're back there and it just feels like there's no way you're going to ever climb out of this. It feels like we're, there's no way we're going to ever get out of this hard market.

We're ever going to be able to get all six foot one of us out of this thing and turn the world around. But it's completely possible, especially when the car is on fire. But. Let me tell you, it's possible, and it all comes back to the brilliant man that I am sitting across from who says attitude is a choice and reminds me of that at least twice a week.

And it is a decision, and it's not just a decision because I detest the word just. But [00:15:00] it is a decision that we have to make every single day, and we don't make it in the morning, we don't make it in the evening, we make it moment to moment and decision 

Shane: to decision. One of the tools that I would love to encourage people to think about using is Something that I'm actually in the middle of right now.

It's an end of year exercise that I start about the beginning of November. It's a stop doing list. Some of the things that get us in that rut is because we are doing things that we probably need to stop doing. This can be anything. A stop doing list can be personal. It can be business. It can be both. It probably should be both.

That stop doing list may be to take yourself out of a social media group. That is overly toxic. So if you are a part of a social media group for insurance professionals that are overly toxic and negative, then get out. I heard a pastor talk about someone who [00:16:00] struggles with stuff, something that they may struggle with, some vice and.

Maybe social media or maybe their phone is something that they need to get rid of. At some point, you've got to say, stop, stop doing this and go over here to the positive world about this in terms of getting married after spending years in a dating. And when you get married, you continue to go do the same things you did as a single person.

You're not going to be married very long. I see this in so many aspects of life where you have to change your environment. You have to change your habits. You have to change what you do because something in your world is not working. That is. Where I'm coming from with a stop doing list, what do I need to stop so that I can move from this lack of gratitude, bad attitude environment [00:17:00] to a positive attitude and a positive environment that there's probably a lot of things in your business, you may need to ask account managers, CSRs, what are some of the things they do every day that they think are silly or stupid?

They may be doing things because you said that they should do that five years ago and today it doesn't matter, but you never stopped and told them to stop doing that. These are potentially a revolutionary thing for an agency owner, for a business owner, and for you in your personal life to go through and start documenting stop doing list items.

Tonya: Something within our hard market that we sometimes forget to do. Is expressing our gratitude for the markets that we have. Yes, some of us have lost carriers. We've lost the things that we've had long term. But there are still carriers out there that are supporting us. Have we expressed our gratitude toward 

Shane: them?

That's a really good one as they've struggled with [00:18:00] their own issues. They've honored and continued. It may not be at the same rate in terms of capacity. They may have some limited capacity and you may not be able to write a hundred grand a month in new premium with them, but they're still open and it's a little harder and you have to do a little extra work, but they're still there, man.

Give them a hug. Tell them, thank you. Tell the rep, thank you. They're right there with the account managers on the carrier side. They're not okay in terms of just, they've been beat up over the last year. That's a great point. You could see it as. I'm down new business by 60 percent or you could see this as I can still write 40 percent of what I used to write or 40, 000 a year in premium is not zero glass half full glass half empty.

There is a positive in every situation. If you just take a step back and take a deep breath and think through it 

Tonya: and look through it. Sometimes you have to take two or three or five or six steps back, [00:19:00] by the way. It's sometimes it's not always being able to take one step back. Sometimes it takes way more 

Shane: than that.

Yep. Agree with that too. It may not work the first try. You may not realize it, you may think you're being positive, but you may actually be negative. It's one of those things that we have to really resonate and check ourself on. I really think this environment, I go through social media fast all the time.

Like I choose to voluntarily take social media off my phone. It's mostly Facebook. It's usually not LinkedIn. Or the platform formerly known as Twitter. That one can get bad politically. Kudos to the LinkedIn crowd because most of the LinkedIn crowd is pretty good about that. Facebook, I just take it off my phone because here's the deal.

This is a very simple stop doing or social media fast. Just take it off your phone. Take the app off your phone. You know what? It downloads back in like a minute. So you're fine. But if you take it off your phone, then you start realizing [00:20:00] that you don't access it on your computer very often, or maybe do that, say the only place I'm going to access it is on my computer, then I'm at work or I'm working when I'm accessing it.

And I've done that. So when I say take a social media fast, I know so many of you are connected and you that's your connection point and that's how you stay connected. And that feels like going off the grid. But if you take that away, maybe after hours, maybe in the morning drinking coffee, you're not pulling it up.

It's just while you're at work on your computer that you pull it up. You will be amazed at the difference that little change could make in your positivity or negativity messaging. 

Tonya: You will be amazed how it changes your perspective of your entire day. If it is not the first thing that you do when you sit down for your morning comfort break and I was shocked to find out how many people when they're taking their morning comfort break are scrolling [00:21:00] social media and the idea of the negativity that starts your day with.

is crazy. I love that idea of only accessing it from your computer from a business perspective. I used to always do a social media fast during Lent. And then as social became such an important part of business, I've gotten away from that habit. I can really support that idea as a business owner. If someone is reaching out to you on social media to shop with you, leave the messenger app on your phone.

You're going to still get that information. You're just not going to have the Facebook app itself. So I love that idea. 

Shane: That is what I do. I have a social envelope folder, whatever it's called, on iPhone. And that's where my apps are. Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter. I take it off, but I leave messenger and I've gotten messenger messages while I've been on my Facebook fast off my phone, the pickups, not everyone's an iPhone person, but I know I get a [00:22:00] weekly screen time report that pops up on my phone.

Android does 

Tonya: that as well. Just so you know, yes, 

Shane: they're getting with it. They're coming along nicely. So if you could just see her eyes darting, Android's figuring it out. They're getting with it. That what you will see is the amazing difference between what happens with stuff that's not on your phone, but you access on your computer, because look, it's a hassle to even open your laptop.

And pop in to social media to the point that you're just not going to do it. And so it's actually very calming. My wife and I went on a recent long weekend getaway to some cabins that we always go to on a river up in Oklahoma. And we had not been to this particular cabin and these cabins are cabins we've been going to since the early two thousands.

And it, we started going there because they had no TVs. And they had no internet and they had no cell signal. So literally you're going off [00:23:00] the grid for two or three days by force. We loved it when our kids were little because we had those little portable DVDs and the girls would play games and. Board games and we would roast marshmallows by the fire.

And it was just total disconnect in a world that's competing for our eyeballs 24 seven. And it was so refreshing that we just kept coming this particular cabin. We had never been to, and most of the cabins had moved to having wifi. So now you actually have wifi and we use it to work remotely on projects.

And I use it a lot of times to do planning into your planning. And so we would go up there in November or December and we would do this, this particular cabin, no wifi, no cell signal. It was at the bottom of this canyon and right on the river. And it was raining the whole time. So there was no fishing, there was no canoeing, there was no [00:24:00] hiking.

We were in the cabin and it was read and it was not read your phone and it was not check what's going on. And we had to drive out to get a signal up on the ridge just to tell our girls, Hey, we're literally off the grid for two days, , so we'll check in once a day. Make sure nothing's happened that we need to know about emergency wise, but you won't hear from us.

It was absolutely crazy how often I caught myself picking up my phone for the first day to check it and there's nothing there. This was two or three days of aha, wow, kind of stuff that just happened to us a couple of weeks ago. But guess what? It was okay. The world did not end. We got really good rest.

It sounds delightful. It was wonderful, but it was by accident. And so what if we made that intentional part of the positivity gratitude process? Maybe it may be taking a break. It may be. Stepping away into a world like that, even if you have to [00:25:00] self impose it for a weekend, for a day, for two days. And if you need to be baby steps, if you need to take the baby step process, then just do it for an afternoon.

I just think that is so much of our negativity that we are wrapped up in today's world that we can control. This 

Tonya: may break everyone's heart when you hear it, but. Here's the thing, none of us is nearly as important as we think we 

Shane: are. Unfortunately, this is accurate. This is very accurate. And for some of us with big egos, that's a hard pill to swallow, but there's a lot of truth to that.

The world will be okay. And we will be okay. This is the really amazing part. We will be okay if we step away for a day or two. 

Tonya: I'm going to leave us today with this quote from Oprah Winfrey. Be thankful for what you have, you'll end up getting more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.

Shane: Attitudes of choice. Make a great one. Bye y'all. Ready to get the ball 

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